Boss forces weekly emotional check-ins, regularly asks personal questions, driving employee to plan their exit: ‘She privately messages me for an "energy check" if I'm not full of energy and excited to be around her’

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Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 14, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Workplace culture is presumably about camaraderie and collaboration, or so the pompous hiring posts tell us. But sometimes, it takes a hard left into "cult-like nightmare" where your boss decides that everything about you is their business.

Forget boundaries, privacy, or simply being left alone to do your job, those are luxuries in a workplace where "building culture" means mandatory emotional check-ins, surprise weekend "events," and pretending you're thrilled to overshare about your personal life. It's less about productivity and more about surviving a bizarre social experiment where your boss is the self-proclaimed guru of your soul.  

This type of workplace doesn't just teach you resilience, it gives you a crash course in spotting red flags. Like, maybe your boss shouldn't care about your energy levels unless you're a literal battery. Or maybe we go back to the "good old days" where a job was just a job, not a poorly disguised therapy session led by someone who thinks they're Oprah, which would be fine by me if EVERYONE got a car.

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  • "Disguised Narcissist behavior as Culture Building Activities"

    "She went as far as to say: 'I wonder how you must make your boyfriend feel""
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I work for a small business and my higher up believes she's a "safe place" and all I want to do is run after her behavior. We do emotional check-ins EVERY week. She privately messages me for an "energy check" if I'm not full of
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  • For one unlucky employee, this is the reality of their job. Their boss has taken “supportive” to new, suffocating heights, constantly prying into personal details, critiquing everything down to their tone on client calls, and acting like emotional monitoring is a reasonable part of any job.

  • energy and excited to be around her. She also works to "hold me accountable" to my personal goals. I have huge resistance to giving her information about myself because it doesn't feel
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  • relevant to our relationship. She digs and pries to find out how much debt I'm in, what I spend money on, etc. It's the most irritating thing I've ever experienced. To be clear, I don't
    via Different-Claim8061
  • mind a mentor (that I actually want to be like) but she doesn't give me an option to be somewhat distant or withhold personal information from her. There is no benefit to her knowing so many personal details about me.
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  • I understand the culture here is in the owners mind, healthy. To me, it feels like pure enmeshment and ego lead. There events outside of work hours that I'm required to attend and sometimes she enjoys
    via Different-Claim8061
  • Cheezburger Image 10467859456
    via prathanchorruangsak

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • making them a surprise and withholding all details other than time and place. Once required me to show up to the office 8-5 on a Saturday without a lick of details
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  • about the agenda and acted like it was a personality flaw of mine because I wanted details. She went as far as to say "I wonder how you must make your bf feel". B
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  • I have to stay here for a few more months and I don't know how to get over my "off energy" with her due to me constantly being emotionally monitored. She's extremely chaotic, doesn't
    via Different-Claim8061
  • provide full details on how to do tasks and acts like me and other employees are incompetent for not being able to read her mind, and listens to my calls with clients to give me feedback and works to
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  • critique my language patterns. She thinks she's my "coach" and I think she's a narcissist micromanager. I want to come to work, kick a at my job, and go home.
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  • How do I work through this "off energy" thing through the next few months? My stomach hurts when I hear her voice but I do want to keep a stable salary until
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I start school in August. I've never experienced a workplace that is like this and I know without a doubt she's a narc. Have you ever experienced small business culture like this?
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  • fakeprewarbook it's extremely difficult to pull off, but i pretend to be Mr Rogers when i'm dealing with narcs, and it works about the best possible if you have to stay in the situation.
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  • be mild, pleasant, slightly slow-paced, just turtle along turtles are the animal equivalent of the grey rock! be neutral, be vague, be mild. "i wonder how you must make your bf feel?” mild, placid: "oh, i dunno" and move on with your day.
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  • i don't give them any spice, nothing to be interested in. i'm boring and do boring things, i have boring responses. it's a nice day out. have a good weekend. i saw a robin this morning. enjoy the big game! be human oatmeal with no butter.
    via fakeprewarbook
  • Evergreen_Nevergreen how does she find out how much debt you are in? i believe what you need against her is not huge resistance but a firm boundary or a bunch of lies about yourself and red herrings. It is
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  • similar to how to remain anonymous on the web: to create a great deal of fake stuff about yourself to confuse the algorithms. Create some
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  • fake problem and see her go after it like a moth to a flame. She might even tell other people your problems. You can honestly tell them there's no such problem.
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  • I have encountered such people in big corporations and small businesses. the problem is with the person not the size of the business.
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  • tipareth1978 Most "team building" dumb things are just them showing off they can humiliate you
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  • Logical-Fox5409 And play stupid. How much debt are you in, I don't know my BF handles finances. Tell lies however you need to. Be boring. What are your lifes goals, to earn enough to live. Just don't add detail. Be the most air headed, giggling human you can be.
    via Logical-Fox5409

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management boss workplace-stories hr toxic-workplace manager bosses work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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